Not in the physical sense of course. I would never wish that on anyone let alone myself. But I do feel like the CV is exposing some things and forcing me to look at others that I had been putting off, making excuses about, or simply ignoring. I am fully aware that this virus was not constructed solely to point out my shortcomings, but I can't help but feel that it's a personal attack exposing my complacency and at times lack of discipline.
I'm a Type A person. I like order, I like knowing, I like being prepared for whatever is coming my way. I love a good schedule and always tell myself that I have to create one. Since becoming self-employed, I have been creating a 'schedule' but I say that loosely. I would meet deadlines and make sure things were taken care of, but I was lacking the discipline to invest the time to move things forward, put myself out there, and expand my business in a manner that aligned with my vision. This obviously is deeply rooted in fear. I thought I was doing the work to address my fear and I was...just not enough work and not honest enough.
Well, thanks to CV, I had to face that fear. Not only did I have to put myself out there in a way that makes the introvert, behind the scenes, shy side scream but I had to think strategically about my businesses and look at the bigger picture. As a consultant and coach, I work with organizations and individuals in helping them develop a vision and determine the steps that need to be taken to make that vision a reality. I knew that I now needed to apply my own advice to myself. I needed to develop my vision and determine my steps- even if these steps meant I had to step outside of my norm and into a new normal.
If this CV has taught me anything, it's taught me that the normal that once was is no longer the normal that is. It's time to push past the old ways of doing things-the old habits, the old ways of thinking, the old way of being. CV is not coming for me but it is teaching me that there is no time like now to step into something new.
I'm a Type A person. I like order, I like knowing, I like being prepared for whatever is coming my way. I love a good schedule and always tell myself that I have to create one. Since becoming self-employed, I have been creating a 'schedule' but I say that loosely. I would meet deadlines and make sure things were taken care of, but I was lacking the discipline to invest the time to move things forward, put myself out there, and expand my business in a manner that aligned with my vision. This obviously is deeply rooted in fear. I thought I was doing the work to address my fear and I was...just not enough work and not honest enough.
Well, thanks to CV, I had to face that fear. Not only did I have to put myself out there in a way that makes the introvert, behind the scenes, shy side scream but I had to think strategically about my businesses and look at the bigger picture. As a consultant and coach, I work with organizations and individuals in helping them develop a vision and determine the steps that need to be taken to make that vision a reality. I knew that I now needed to apply my own advice to myself. I needed to develop my vision and determine my steps- even if these steps meant I had to step outside of my norm and into a new normal.
If this CV has taught me anything, it's taught me that the normal that once was is no longer the normal that is. It's time to push past the old ways of doing things-the old habits, the old ways of thinking, the old way of being. CV is not coming for me but it is teaching me that there is no time like now to step into something new.
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