My mom was no-nonsense and direct. Sometimes a little too direct. She wasn't a fan of injustice and would have no issue speaking her mind about any injustice that she witnessed. It wasn't until I got older that I could fully appreciate this way about her and it isn't until now that I recognize that my mom was my first white ally.
When a majority of my mom's family shunned her for marrying an African-American man and having brown babies, she re-created family from friends that accepted her. Her mother called her a n*gger-lover and called her children n*ggers, rather than cower, she let her mother know that wasn't acceptable putting further strain on that relationship. When her sister-in-law tried to hide away her brown kids during one particular Thanksgiving holiday, she swiftly grabbed her kids and left (of course after letting them know in her own way why she was out...all this before the meal was served). When she realized that lower income girls of color were unable to participate in Girls Scouts, she shifted funds from more privileged (white) troop members to cover their fees (later leading to her removal as the scout leader). She advocated for rehabilitative and restorative justice programs for incarcerated youth which including bringing an urban rooftop garden to a youth incarceration facility and bringing programs like Girls Scouts, Boy Scouts, and other personal development programs exposing mostly youth of color to different experiences and then ensuring that access to those experiences can continue post-incarceration. The list goes on and I am really proud of what she did with her privilege and power as a white woman. Reflecting on things now, I realized that my mom was okay with giving up her privilege, her power, her access, her reputation, her comfort in order to level the playing field. So when I think of an ally that is what I think. When I think of an ally, I think of someone who is willing to get in the trenches put their own comfort, power, access on the line to advocate and support the rights of people of color (or those different from them).
My mom set the bar high for any and every white person I come across. It is because of her that I know it may be difficult but it's possible to work toward justice, equity, and equality for all.
When a majority of my mom's family shunned her for marrying an African-American man and having brown babies, she re-created family from friends that accepted her. Her mother called her a n*gger-lover and called her children n*ggers, rather than cower, she let her mother know that wasn't acceptable putting further strain on that relationship. When her sister-in-law tried to hide away her brown kids during one particular Thanksgiving holiday, she swiftly grabbed her kids and left (of course after letting them know in her own way why she was out...all this before the meal was served). When she realized that lower income girls of color were unable to participate in Girls Scouts, she shifted funds from more privileged (white) troop members to cover their fees (later leading to her removal as the scout leader). She advocated for rehabilitative and restorative justice programs for incarcerated youth which including bringing an urban rooftop garden to a youth incarceration facility and bringing programs like Girls Scouts, Boy Scouts, and other personal development programs exposing mostly youth of color to different experiences and then ensuring that access to those experiences can continue post-incarceration. The list goes on and I am really proud of what she did with her privilege and power as a white woman. Reflecting on things now, I realized that my mom was okay with giving up her privilege, her power, her access, her reputation, her comfort in order to level the playing field. So when I think of an ally that is what I think. When I think of an ally, I think of someone who is willing to get in the trenches put their own comfort, power, access on the line to advocate and support the rights of people of color (or those different from them).
My mom set the bar high for any and every white person I come across. It is because of her that I know it may be difficult but it's possible to work toward justice, equity, and equality for all.
(My mom, brothers and I)