My partner is a knowledge consumer. He is constantly taking in information to learn about what's happening in the world around him. Unfortunately, when Corona Virus began to take flight, his knowledge consumption was right there with it. His constant watching and listening of the news was overwhelming. I'm not a big news person and watched it maybe 1-2 times a week prior to Corona. Within the first few days of the Corona Virus outbreak in the US, I felt like I was in a non-stop news cycle listening to the doom and gloom this virus brought. Although I like to be informed, I prefer to protect my spirit and the fear inciting news casts were not conducive to me upholding my personal peace. The more he consumed the more I leaned into my peace practice, negating fear-based thoughts with thoughts of protection and optimism. I know spiritually and energetically that this shift is much needed and although it's making us uncomfortable, the discomfort will hopefully create a new comfort for all.
Now that all sounds great on the surface but subconsciously and now consciously I recognize the experiences of those suffering from CV are similar to the experience my mom had when she was first diagnosed with lung cancer. Listening to the news stories of people on ventilators triggered the trauma I experienced with my mom's illness. It was on April 3rd, 2017 that I drove my mom to the ER when she had been having trouble breathing. It was late on April 3rd, 2017 when the doctors told me of my mom's diagnosis and it was early in the morning on April 4th, 2017 when they admitted my mom to the ICU, heavily sedated her, and connected her to a ventilator due to the massive tumor that collapsed her right lung. It was a few days later when the doctors explained that if she does not come off of the ventilator she runs the risk of developing pneumonia and other bacteria infections that could be deadly. I was informed that ventilators are not meant for long term use and if she is not successfully weaned off of hers, then we would need to make some hard decisions. Thankfully my mom wasn't having that and after a few tests with a bomb Respiratory Therapist she was breathing on her own with the help of oxygen (CPAP) machine. Having experienced this and knowing the shortcomings of a ventilator, it makes it difficult to hear about all the individuals on or in need of ventilators. My empathic nature just gets overwhelmed feeling what these individuals are going through and repeating the feelings that I went through with my mom. Being conscious of my own triggers and having to work through the emotions as a result, I know that unsubscribing to the constant news updates is imperative to maintaining my emotional health. I also know, that unsubscribing to other triggering messages, you know, the ones that are telling you that you are not doing enough, changing enough, or being enough, the messages that swarm our social media is in my case, the best thing I can do for myself. I remind myself daily that simply being me is enough and that this time is meant to be reflective and still and there's nothing I need to do other than being present and making most of the moments I have.
...And now that we are a few weeks into quarantine I am happy to share that my partner is no longer a news addict. He's beginning to recognize that the news is repeating the same fear based message only with larger numbers.
Now that all sounds great on the surface but subconsciously and now consciously I recognize the experiences of those suffering from CV are similar to the experience my mom had when she was first diagnosed with lung cancer. Listening to the news stories of people on ventilators triggered the trauma I experienced with my mom's illness. It was on April 3rd, 2017 that I drove my mom to the ER when she had been having trouble breathing. It was late on April 3rd, 2017 when the doctors told me of my mom's diagnosis and it was early in the morning on April 4th, 2017 when they admitted my mom to the ICU, heavily sedated her, and connected her to a ventilator due to the massive tumor that collapsed her right lung. It was a few days later when the doctors explained that if she does not come off of the ventilator she runs the risk of developing pneumonia and other bacteria infections that could be deadly. I was informed that ventilators are not meant for long term use and if she is not successfully weaned off of hers, then we would need to make some hard decisions. Thankfully my mom wasn't having that and after a few tests with a bomb Respiratory Therapist she was breathing on her own with the help of oxygen (CPAP) machine. Having experienced this and knowing the shortcomings of a ventilator, it makes it difficult to hear about all the individuals on or in need of ventilators. My empathic nature just gets overwhelmed feeling what these individuals are going through and repeating the feelings that I went through with my mom. Being conscious of my own triggers and having to work through the emotions as a result, I know that unsubscribing to the constant news updates is imperative to maintaining my emotional health. I also know, that unsubscribing to other triggering messages, you know, the ones that are telling you that you are not doing enough, changing enough, or being enough, the messages that swarm our social media is in my case, the best thing I can do for myself. I remind myself daily that simply being me is enough and that this time is meant to be reflective and still and there's nothing I need to do other than being present and making most of the moments I have.
...And now that we are a few weeks into quarantine I am happy to share that my partner is no longer a news addict. He's beginning to recognize that the news is repeating the same fear based message only with larger numbers.
No comments:
Post a Comment